It was with you then, that I sought happiness. Every moment spent together – a cocoon of boundless emotion. The small talk, endless stares and whispered affections, bound tightly in an embrace, never to come undone. Ecstasy…
Passionate walks, and the misty spray of rain on our faces. The playful wind blowing your hair back. Bashfully, you take my hand in yours. Our eyes meet, savoring together another moment of fortuitous epiphany. And I loved you so…
Nightlong conversations of slick Ferraris and Spanish holidays. Racing down serene boulevards in delectable foreign lands. Stringing together our future in a concatenation of promises and words. It was our little world, dispersed over mangled telephone wires and an intrepid imagination…
Then, along came winter. And with it, ominous portends of impending doom. Lies, lies…And more of them…A stygian concoction of simulated tears and feigned repentance. Then, forgiveness…and for me, the end of time…
The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As I piece it together, my hands bleed. My image shifts. And I change with it. It could destroy me, drive me mad. It could set me free…
There are no choices, I realise. Nothing but a straight line. The illusions come afterward, when I ask, “Why me?” and “What if?”…When I look back and wish that I had done things differently…
If I had done something differently though, it wouldn’t be me. It would be someone else looking back...A different past...A different set of questions...